Divorce can be destabilizing in many ways, and watching a friend going through the experience can be overwhelming. As much as there is emotional turmoil, you can be instrumental in making them feel better as a friend. When you give advice and lend a helping hand, you make the divorce process and transition bearable.
Here is how you can help a friend who is getting a divorce.
Be a Listening Ear
It is hard to predict how your friend will react after learning about the divorce. As much as you feel you should do something, it is important to exercise divorce etiquette. Learning to listen is important. Unless you understand the reasons behind the divorce, you should be a friend who listens. In most cases, friends want to be vocal as they try to be supportive only to hurt the person getting the divorce more.
When you listen, you get to understand the situation and how you can help. If your friend is going through a divorce for the first time, the experience can be traumatic. Note that 42-45% of people getting divorced are first-timers in marriage, making the process emotional for many couples. It also becomes easier for your friend to open up about their feelings when you become a listening ear.
Help Out With Child Care
Handling the divorce process means spending a lot of time trying to reach an amicable solution to your problems. You spend limited time with your family, especially the children, as the case proceeds. Understand that the experience can also be traumatic for children. Offer to babysit if your friend is getting divorced. This is one of the ways you can lend a helping hand and make the process easier for your friend.
You can watch your friend’s kids, help with laundry, and get groceries. You can also take the kids out for a positive distraction. Note that 437 is the average number of questions a four-year-old can ask in a day, so ask your friend how you should go about answering any questions their child has about the situation.
Invite Your Friend Out
The chances that your friend who is getting divorced will spend most of their time indoors are higher. With the emotional turmoil they’re experiencing, it becomes hard for your friends to socialize and engage in fun activities. The more they continue spending time indoors, the higher the chances of getting stressed and feeling sad.
Invite your friend out if you want to lend a helping hand. You should, however, expect them to decline your invite, but you should be persistent. When you take them out, your advice and efforts will bear fruit once they view life positively. Instead of letting your friend get drowned in misery and sorrow, create an avenue where they can have fun and forget about their current situation for a while. Choose places where they can interact and socialize with different people. This is vital, as they can enjoy some distraction from the tough situation they’re facing at home.
Give Them a Thoughtful Gift
When your friend is going through emotional devastation, you should consider giving them a thoughtful gift. The gift you give them is a sign of how much you care about them. It is also easier to cheer them up with a thoughtful gift than talking to them, especially if they’re not up for chatting all the time.
You should, however, ensure that the gift is thoughtful and won’t bring about negative emotions. You can bring flowers often, buy them fun jewelry to wear for outings and even bring food and share with them. Understand that as much as 89% of people consider flowers sophisticated; they are thoughtful gifts that can help a friend get through a divorce. Seek to know what makes your friend happy and consider it before buying them a gift.
While ultimately you can’t fix the underlying problem, you can show up and lend a helping hand to your friend. Getting a divorce can be emotionally, socially, and financially devastating. When you’re a good friend and offer to help out, it becomes easier for your friend to get through the divorce.