“There will never be another Mario Finnell; not in this lifetime, nor in the next …
At one point in time, Halle Berry seemed to have it all – the looks, the talent, and a Hollywood resume to make the most successful women covet in silence. But over the years, the actress has experienced her fair share of drama – thrust into the unfavorable spotlight of repetitive relationship woes, multiple divorce filings, and other critical discoveries behind her private affairs.
Publicly scorned after two previously failed marriages, the Academy award-winning actress became the topic of table discussion recently — just fresh after filing for divorce from her current husband, French film actor Olivier Martinez, after only two years of marriage.
While negative reports and allegations have already begun to surface, we reached out to certified divorce coach, licensed clinical faith-based counselor, divorce recovery expert, and Founder of Next Level Living 7.0, Dr. Sonja Stribling to weigh in on the matter. Helping her clients to “be better, not bitter,” the highly sought after expert dished exclusively to Inspire N Style on ways that Berry can recover, and ultimately, how the actress can take her personal life and relationships to the next level.
Before diving relatively deep into discussion, inquiring minds want to know – just what is a divorce coach?
“A divorce coach is someone that is a part of your team as you’re going through your divorce or life after the divorce,” Dr. Stribling (pictured left) explained.
Distinctly different from the role of a divorce attorney, a divorce coach is often the first person people contact after dissolution paperwork has been served, or just shortly after a spouse has communicated the intention of filing.
“Divorce coaches help people to get over the hurt, pain, and disappointment of divorce,” Dr. Stribling explains further. “They will help you find the best attorney, other professional services such as a real estate agent, and professional counselors.”
While she admittedly has seen it all – the good, the bad, the ugly, and the petty, Dr. Stribling helps her clients to focus on the big picture, to stop playing the blame game, and to methodically center on self-healing and restoration. As eloquently stated in her own words, she aids clients in being “better after being broken.”
WHAT IF THE FIRST TIME, SECOND TIME, THIRD TIME AT MARRIAGE IS NOT A CHARM?
“I’ve had some who have come to me, who are on their third divorce and it’s a little bit different [than the first divorce],” the highly sought after expert recalled. “At this point, they thought ‘I just thought this one would be different. By the time they’re on their third divorce, mentally some of them are very much damaged. I can quickly recognize why they shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place, because of why they got married.”
The why – the crux of many marital issues, is often embedded in a fear of loneliness, a lack of clarity as to one’s own individual needs, wants and desires, and ultimately settling on an unhealthy spousal choice.
“People ask [important] questions after marriage, rather than before,” Dr. Stribling noted. “Ask the questions before you actually have someone to marry. This is not a bad idea.”
4 DIVORCE RECOVERY TIPS FOR HEALTHY HEALING
Whether it’s an A-lister like Halle Berry or the everyday working professional, Dr. Stribling applies her proven 7-Step Method to help her clients get to the next level. In terms of Berry’s current divorce, the certified coach offers four simple tips to jump start her recovery.
1. GET YOUR GROOVE BACK BY RE-ESTABLISHING YOUR CONFIDENCE
At the time of the second or even third divorce, thoughts of previous marriages and what went wrong will tend to surface. Establishing self-confidence and accountability will be one of the keys to bouncing back.
“[Halle] may be thinking, ‘Oh my God. I thought he was the one.’ Or… ‘Ok, it didn’t work – I’m just going to move on to the next.’ She needs confidence in who she is and to know that she can make it through this one, but things have got to change,” Dr. Stribling advises. “Her thought process has to change.”
2. CHALLENGE THE CHALLENGES BY TAKING A TRUE LOOK AT YOURSELF
Challenge the challenges? Sounds like a crazy tongue twister, but ultimately the theory is taking a realistic deep dive into the inner self.
“Challenge the challenges is [essentially] looking into who she is as a woman,” Dr. Stribling said. “What happened in her childhood? Psychologically, what is going on? Are there scars? What could the issues be from her past? Her history has a lot to do with who she is right now – good, bad, or indifferent.”
3. READY OR NOT, IT’S TIME FOR A CHANGE
It’s the six-letter word that no one likes to hear – but in the instance of repetitive and often destructive behavior, change will always get the final say so – or else.
“It’s time for a change, it seriously is,” the divorce recovery expert said. “If I were sitting in front of her I would say ‘Halle, it’s time for you to prepare your heart to heal. If you don’t want to deal with this again, let’s make some changes. Make the shift and change your mindset.’”
All in all, while preparing for change or walking through the process, Dr. Stribling notes that she advises clients to take time away from dating – a tip that often is easier said than done. “It’s hard for some people to do,” she admitted. “Some people [simply] can not be alone.”
If in fact this is the case for Berry, “Surround yourself by people who support and love you, and tell you the truth in love.”
4. READY. SET. GO. BUILD YOUR TRIBE!
Nowadays, everyone has a tribe. It is often comprised of those individuals whose strengths can often offset one’s weaknesses, in a pursuit to help one rise to their desired success.
In the case of divorce recovery, Dr. Stribling assures that Berry may not have had a divorce coach or recovery expert on her team the last several divorces, but pushes for what she coins as “The Triad” to help her successfully recover this unfortunate time around. “The Triad” consists of a divorce coach, an attorney, and a CPA.
“She needs someone who is not biased, and not about her money,” Dr. Stribling empathizes. “It’s just about her, and making her better after being broken.”
For more information on Dr. Sonja Stribling and her Next Level Living 7.0 Institute, visit nextlevelliving7.com. Halle Berry image credit: Pierre Andrieu/AFP/Getty