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Face it. Sex rules the world. It settles comfortably into the driver’s seat, puts the pedal to the metal and wrecklessly steers through our culture. It rears its head in dominance through music, fashion, the arts, media, entertainment, leisure, and the list exhaustively goes on and on.
While a sexual appetite is innately human, society preys on sexual weaknesses causing many to overindulge and create insatiable, ravenous habits that are often harmful to one’s body and spirit. So if sex is the norm, but an overindulgence is bad, what’s the happy medium?
Hollywood power couple Devon Franklin and Meagan Good tackle these very issues in their newly released book The Wait — giving readers a front row glimpse into their past dating regime, celibacy vows, struggles, and why the celibate road-less-traveled is definitely the new black as it relates to dating.
While the two words “wait” and “celibacy” often bring grunts, groans, and eyerolls, Franklin and Good dish a powerful action-packed recipe for those seeking true love, meaningful relationships, and the quest for self-reflection. Ironically, the solution lies within those two words so often ignored, and despised the most.
In a world driven by instant gratification, self-absorbed fulfillments, and visual stimulants, denying one’s self of the one thing that orbits minds daily seems downright ludicrous.
While often the less popular of choices, The Wait breaks down the good, the bad, and the ugly of saying “no” to sex before marriage, and the blessings that pour into one’s relationships, career, finances, and the like through the practice of delayed gratification and laser focus on self-improvement.
Aside from the obvious, The Wait redefines celibacy by removing the negative stigma affixed by society, and refocusing the outcome on the bigger picture: a better self and ultimately the attraction of true love.
“Celibacy is about the mind as much as it is about the body,” The Wait reads. “When we think about celibacy, we focus on the physical need to have sex. But being celibate isn’t just about pushing down that hormonal need to engage in intercourse. It’s about owning how you feel, even when those horny feelings are coming on. It’s choosing to discipline the mind and think of the benefit you seek, something that is greater than the desire to give in.”
In addition to attracting authentic love, The Wait dives head first into the struggles with celibacy, temptations that will arise, and a strategic plan of attack when thoughts of giving in creep into the mind.
Along with support and commentary by both Franklin and Good on their dating-to-marriage-while-celibate experience, the book explores candidly the differences between men and women who may or may not play the waiting game, how to determine whether someone is your true husband or wife-to-be, and what to do in the meantime while being celibate. (And no. It’s not to mull over why your life is somehow less exciting without sex.)
“Like any discipline, The Wait has its ups and downs, its periods of achievement, and it plateaus when it seems like nothing is happening,” the book explains.
“But here’s the thing: even when it seems like nothing is happening, if you’re executing The Wait faithfully and doing the work, good things are happening. You just might not be able to see them yet.”
While practicing The Wait for both Franklin and Good resulted in marriage, the book spans all walks of life from singles to those in an exclusive relationship to those who are in committed relationships. Regardless of labels and definitive language — empowerment, self-reflection, and the ability to see your potential partner for who they really are (without the cloud of sex) lies at the true depth of this book.
The old Albert Einstein saying comes to mind, and he was a genius so maybe it’s worth a listen. “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Maybe The Wait is on to something.
What relationship patterns do you constantly fall victim to? Do you engage in sex too soon, only to find out that you are in too deep with someone who isn’t a good fit? Do you want a more spiritual and emotional connection with your partner? Do you desire a healthy marriage? Do you long for true, authentic love?
If you’ve answered “yes” to any of these questions, then we recommend giving The Wait a whirl — if not for the quest of true love in another person, then for the love of yourself. Trust us, celibacy is the new black.
Sign up for an exclusive course curated by Essence, Devon Franklin, and Meagan Good, to help you successfully practice The Wait as you work your way through the book. Enroll for free at Essence Empower U here.